My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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