he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have fence marks all over my body
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
