Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
