woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
