I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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