Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
