She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
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