So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
