Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I think I died a long time ago.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
