The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
