I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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