Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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