I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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