I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
