babies were throwing up all over the place
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
