I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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