so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
