No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
