I just saw a hot homeless man
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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