We're like a lot better than the average bears
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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