in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Enjoy the penises
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
