So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
