what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
