looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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