I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
