the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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