apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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