How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
