So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
