I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize