is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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