My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
