Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
