After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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