i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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