I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
