The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
