Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
