If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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