There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
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