Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
