I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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