i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
When are your genitals available?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
