I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
