you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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