Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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