Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
