im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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