Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
