I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
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