You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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