i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
