Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
