if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
