Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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