so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Blood and glitter go together right?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
