it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
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