What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
