I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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