1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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