i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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